Texas Chainsaw 3D Movie Review

Toted as a direct sequel to the original The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, not counting the direct sequel The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2, or Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III, which skips Part 2 and proclaims it as a direct sequel to the original. Wait, can’t forget Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation, which is kind of a sequel to the first, but really a remake, which sucks. Hmm, okay, let’s just forget those ones and focus on this latest installment, which yes, is a direct sequel, using footage from the original in a really great opening credits sequence.  Texas Chainsaw 3D has numerous problems, but not being fun isn’t one of them. If you want to know whether you should check this movie out, grab your chainsaw and cut through this review by reading on (fair warning, there are a few slight spoilers)…

Short nitty-gritty plot description from IMDb is as follows: A young woman travels to Texas to collect an inheritance; little does she know that an encounter with a chainsaw-wielding killer is part of the reward.

If you managed to get through that confusing intro, you probably know how confusing the entire Chainsaw series is, but that’s not what you’re here for. You’re here, cause you want to know how great, or awful, Texas Chainsaw 3D really is. Well, I can honestly tell you that it’s not the amazing film we were waiting for. No, Texas Chainsaw 3D has plenty of flaws and the end result is a troubled film, but and that’s a good but, the movie is enjoyable and does classify as a worthy followup to the original. It has some really great gore and a wonderfully menacing Leatherface, played by the down to earth Dan Yeager.

The original Leatherface, Gunnar Hansen as Boss Sawyer.

Like I said before, the movie starts off at the end of the first one, with our horribly abused Sally escaping the Sawyer clan and the police showing up. Things are going okay, until a bunch of rednecks arrive and decide to take matters into their own hands and before you know it, people are dying and a baby is getting adopted. The creators of the film recreated the original house quite beautifully. My only complaint was replacing Jim Siedow with Bill Moseley in the original footage shown during the credits. I understand what they were doing, cause he is replacing him in the new footage, but there was no need to completely remove him from the movie, like he didn’t even play him.

Making this a followup with the first brings us to the biggest problem with the movie. We know that the original takes place in 1973 and this movie is based in 2012 (proven fact by a tombstone date). So, that would make Heather, played by the gorgeous Alexandra Daddario, about 40 years old, but I wouldn’t put her a day over 25. They do try to cover up what year the original really was taking place, with conveniently placed grass on a tombstone, or blurred out years on newspaper clippings, but me being the anal person I am, noticed they forgot to remove the date on a few police reports. (In the original film, you also can’t forget the John Larroquette voice over clearly saying it’s 1973.) I don’t know how this major flaw was missed, but they should’ve just placed this movie in the 90’s, or instead casted older people. Unfortunately, not having young pretty people would alienate the teenage crowd (like they’ve actually seen these movies), so you can’t have that! I’m willing to forgive the date inconsistency, but what I’m not willing to forgive, is the completely missed opportunity with the carnival scene. This was a prefect chance to really wreak some gory havoc, but sadly they decided to play it safe and the scene amounted to nothing besides a funny poke at the Saw franchise.

I’m not going to go into the acting, as honestly, I’m used to not having brilliant thespians in a gory horror film, so why waste time complaining about the acting. It isn’t the greatest, but it also isn’t the worst. Plus, you see some beautiful looking women, who haven’t quite learnt yet how to wear tops properly (god bless their scantly clad souls). The only thing you need to be concerned about in Texas Chainsaw 3D, is Leatherface and as I mentioned before, Dan Yeager does a fantastic job. He’s an imposing force, who would make you shit your pants the moment you saw him limping (great nod to the ending of the first) towards you with a bloody chainsaw. If there is a sequel, I look forward to Dan donning the human face again.

Texas Chainsaw 3D, is flawed and the plot holes are numerous. In fact they are so big, you could throw a chainsaw through them, but in the end, I had a blast watching this movie, which had some great nods to the original and the last third has an interesting twist in it’s plot. I say give it a watch, but don’t forget to turn your brain off and just enjoy the chainsaw fun. Also, if you’re wondering if you should see it in 3D, don’t bother. Besides a few neat scenes (blood splattering on the screen and chainsaws flying at you), the 3D isn’t worth the extra cost, although on the other hand, the boobies do have a certain pop to them.


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