Safe Movie Review

Safe? Ha! No one is safe when watching this movie. Jason Statham, why do you keep doing the same movie over and over again? Yes, I know the ladies like it when you take your shirt off and honestly, so do I (what, I’m secure enough to say it), but you need to find some better writers. If you really want to know why Safe is not so safe (puntastic), read on…

Short nitty-gritty plot description from IMDb is as follows: Mei, a young girl whose memory holds a priceless numerical code, finds herself pursued by the Triads, the Russian mob, and corrupt NYC cops. Coming to her aid is an ex-cage fighter whose life was destroyed by the gangsters on Mei’s trail.

Statham wearing an unusual amount of clothing.

I don’t want to waste any more of my time on this movie, so I’m going to try to make this review short. Easiest way to do that, is list a few pros and cons and let you decide whether you want to watch this “movie”. So here we go…

Jason Statham takes his shirt off.

But, only for a few seconds.

The action scenes are pretty good.

But the movie has been infected with shaky cam disease.

The movie is only an hour and half.

The movie is an hour and 29 minutes too long.

So there you have it, a few pros and cons for the movie Safe. A movie which introduces random characters, doesn’t explain who Jason Statham’s character really is and ends with a big sloppy plop. You be the judge on whether you think the pros outweigh the cons. In my opinion, they don’t.


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11 years ago

I think the movie was really profound and well-acted. Okay, I don't actually think that, but was feeling bad for Jason Statham after reading this review! Then I remembered how Jason Statham looks without his shirt on and no longer felt bad for him…

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