NeverDead Video Game Review

NeverDead was just a video game I picked up on the cheap to trade in for a better game, but after playing and beating the game, NeverDead is still just a video game that I picked up on the cheap to trade in for a better game.

Short (but not short enough) nitty-gritty plot description from the Official Website is as follows: 500 years ago, a demon hunter and his wife challenged the demon king in a battle.  Losing the battle and the love of his life, the demon hunter was rendered immortal by the demon king. 
His name is Bryce.  Brokenhearted with no …blah blah blah. 

NeverDead is ever boring. In fact, I almost fell asleep typing out that plot description. Also, any game where the campaign only last 6 hours, but feels like you played for days, is never a good thing.

Boobs.

The game is riddled with problems. Bad control ranks as the worst offender, with a horrible plot and wretched voice acting (your chief sounds like he should be singing sweet soothing jazz, instead of leading any kind of task force) riding along side it. The game has a “gimmick” (I refuse to call it a feature), where you can’t die, but can lose your body parts. If you lose a part, you can just roll over them to reattach, but watch out, as certain creatures will try to suck your head up and if you don’t beat the stupid mini game, you’ll have to restart from the last checkpoint. I can tell you right now, if I have to roll around and struggle to reattach my head to my body one more time, I will cut someone. I will seriously cut someone up! I haven’t even mentioned the gameplay yet!

A repetitive kill fest is what NeverDead boils down to and the game does not dare deviate from this formula. When a moment of originality does come up (e.g. free falling off a
building to catch a team member), it decides to slap you in the face by only lasting a few
minutes.* Also, the main character can be heard constantly saying the same few lines over and over again, one of which is “I can do this all day”, but I can tell you, I surely can’t and won’t.

A picture that perfectly captures how I felt while playing.

What else has gone terribly wrong in this game? Surprisingly, graphics aren’t that bad at first. The insane asylum you first visit looks fairly nice, with it’s mix of decrepit architecture and vegetative overgrowth. From there each level’s originality starts to wane, ’til you’re wondering if you accidentally turned on a PS2 game. The music doesn’t get any accolades either. A brazen, blaring and absolutely intolerable rock soundtrack manages to shriek from your speakers. I suggest busting ones eardrums before playing, or turning the sound off, whatever is easier.
            

More Boobs.

Conclusion time! If you do decide to buy this game for cheap and want trade it in for a better game, I can 100% tell you with sincere honesty, do not play it. For the love of god, don’t play it! If you happen to be a sadist and love to torture yourself, well you might as well cuddle up and play NeverDead. In fact, you could make a night of it, play NeverDead and immediately after, watch The Bounty Hunter.

NeverDead falls into the special category of games that need to be sent directly into the sun.

Finally! Boobs.
 *Much like my bedroom escapades.
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