Wow, now this was a big disappoint. I didn’t read up much on this movie before going in, all I knew was that Kane Hodder was in it and the soundtrack was good. Well… Kane Hodder was in it I guess. Dear god, this movie was terrible, just terrible. Massive amounts of style over substance and by style, I mean copying everything that was done before and not offering anything new. Hey, at least we get a bunch of fake boobies and butts to look at. That’s something right? Right? Anyone? Hello?
Release: March 13th, 2015
Rating: R
Run time: 90 mins
Starring: Lachlan Buchanan, Lauren Francesca
Director: Steve Wolsh
Short nitty-gritty plot description is as follows: After narrowly escaping an ancient burial ground, a group of friends find themselves trapped between two evils, forcing them to fight, die, or go back the way they came.
Movie Opinion: MUCK is an all around dumb movie. Starting off the story in the middle of something that happened, we follow a bunch of dumbass people, as they fight off albino, scarred killers in the middle of hicksville. From what I’ve read online, this movie is actually the second in a trilogy, but actually the first to be released, hence why the movie starts off during the midst of something that already has happened. Okay, I see, well I’m sorry, that still doesn’t allow you make a shit movie, with a shit beginning, a shit middle and a shit ending, an ending that suddenly and I mean suddenly, comes up on you. It’s just freaking awful.
I did mention we get lots of boobies and butts to stare at, but of the girls that these fine, but clearly plastic bodies are housing, none can act themselves out of a wet paper bag. They are terrible, low budget actors, made to stand around and jump up and down, while the camera focuses on their asses or boobs, as they move in slow motion. Hmm, okay, maybe this movie isn’t that bad after all.
*Shakes head* No! Don’t let the hypnotic jiggling of flesh distract you from why this movie sucks balls. The story is paper thin, so thin in fact, it’s see through. Nothing is explained and people are basically put in front of the camera as a favour to the director or something. Oh and Kane Hodder? Yeah, he gets one good kill in and that’s it. He’s barely in the movie folks, sorry.
Verdict: As you can probably guess, I loved this movie. Damn those boobies and butts are sweet…ahhh!!! What am I saying!!! NO. I hate this movie and what it stands for: flashy, music video crap, with no talent. Move along folks, nothing and I mean nothing to see here. MUCK? More like YUCK. Amirite? Huh? Right? *crickets* Okay, I’ll leave.
Rating:
