Hatchet III Movie Review

Release: 2013, Rating: UR, Runtime: 81 min.

You can’t keep a good monster down. No matter if you hack him up, cut him in half, or blow his head off with a shotgun, that sonuvabitch is coming back to rip you in half and hang your balls from a tree. That ladies and gentlemen, is the sign of a good horror series and Hatchet III continues the trend of gore over story, but screw it, that’s all I want anyways, a good, gory horror movie and Hatchet III is just that.

Short nitty-gritty plot description from IMDB is as follows: A search and recovery team heads into the haunted swamp to pick up the pieces and Marybeth learns the secret to ending the voodoo curse that has left Victor Crowley haunting and terrorizing Honey Island Swamp for decades. 

Hatchet III continues the trend from the last movie, by starting off exactly at the end of the last frame. It’s a pretty gnarly feat, considering these movies were shot almost 4 years apart. Yet, you wouldn’t be able to tell, as they do a fantastic job continuing the look and feel of the series.

Danielle Harris is back as Marybeth and since my last trip with her, I’ve now warmed up to her performance and enjoyed her pissed off attitude this time around. She doesn’t have as much to do, as the focus falls on the group of SWAT members combing the woods for victims and any more suspects, but what she does do, she does with some sass and kicks all sorts of ass.

As I already said above, the movie follows the local police department, with Sheriff Fowler (Zach Galligan of Gremlins fame) and a group of SWAT members, with Derek Mears (Jason Voorhees, Friday the 13th remake) leading the pack. They are sent in to investigate the previous murders, after Marybeth shows up at the police station, all bloodied up, brandishing a shotgun and the scalp of Victor Crowley. It isn’t long before we realize that Victor Crowley (Kane Hodder returning once again as the bad ass monster, only a deranged mother or father could love) has obviously not died, which is explained by local Crowley expert, Amanda (Caroline Williams), who says that unless the curse is broken by delivering Victor’s father, he will rise up each night and take revenge. Crappy for the people cleaning up the previous massacre, but awesome for us gore hounds!

Hatchet III is chock full of gore, albeit with hilariously cheesy practical effects. However, that’s the movies biggest charm. Buckets and buckets of blood flying everywhere, with Victor Crowley ripping limps and heads off. It’s kill after kill, with the story being advanced ever so slightly, by providing more snippets of how to put the monster down for good, which requires having a guest appearance by Sid Haig, as Abbot MacMullin, relative to the Crowley’s, who pretty much plays the exact same role he did in House of 1000 Corpses. I may have complained of the limited set pieces and lack of story advancement in the last movie, but this time around, I’ve come to except the movie and series for what it is and just had a complete blast.

So, conclusion time! Gallons of blood and guts? Check. Awesome homages to other films (Predator!)? Check. Even more awesome guest stars? Check. Kane Hodder getting as close as he can to being Jason Voorhees again? Check. Nudity? Sadly, no check. Hatchet III ratchets up the gore and provides a little more story and that my folks is all I wanted. Highly recommended!


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