If there is one movie that you have to see, Death Spa is probably not that movie. Kidding! It actually is that movie, cause it’s so freaking awesomely bad, gory and all around fun, full of boobies and so much lycra; you’ll vomit. If that isn’t a ringing endorsement for a movie, then maybe hearing that MPI Media Group’s Blu-ray release (which also includes a DVD) of the Gorgon Video classic, is phenomenal. I don’t think anyone in their right mind would think that Death Spa deserved a 50-minute Making of Special, but gosh darn it, this disc includes that! With that said, let’s shake our tight little booty and sweat this review out together…
SUBTITLES: English REGION: A RATING: NR PRODUCTION DATE: 1989 RELEASE DATE: May 27, 2014
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. This one is shapely, beautiful, demonic – and dead. She’s also insanely jealous – and one by one, the beautiful people of her husband’s health club become victims possessed by her evil spirit…and each meets a grisly death. Starring Ken Foree (Dawn of the Dead) and not recommended for the squeamish, DEATH SPA is another Gorgon Video (Faces of Death) from the crypts of hell! In this spa, You’ll Sweat Blood!
I’m probably slightly overstating things here when I say Death Spa is a movie I’ve been waiting my entire life for and now that I’ve seen it, I can rest easy knowing that I have witnessed perfection in the form of really bad cheese. Death Spa lines everything up that a horror fan wants, such as, hot 80s women showering nude, giant 80s bush, copious amounts of gore, training montages, 80s hacking/computer use, ghosts in the machines, women showering, boobies, a giant rubber fish attacking a person, Ken Foree, sensual asparagus eating, a completely random Mardi Gras party that looks like a Halloween Party and finally, and most importantly, women showering nude.
Death Spa’s plot is honestly all over the place. Michael Evans is the owner of a club called StarboDies HEAlTHSpa and heseems to be running into all sorts of trouble with the club. To get a one up on other spas, he has implemented a computer system that controls everything, be it the weights, the air conditioning, and the hotness of the water when all those women are showing nude. Unfortunately for Michael, things start falling apart when stuff starts mysteriously breaking or trying to kill people, sometimes effectively. If this wasn’t enough of a problem, Michael’s wife committed suicide a year ago and she seems like she might have been the jealous type. Dun dun dunnnn!
If you try to actually follow the plot of Death Spa, you’ll probably end up with some sort of weird migraine. It really is so random with its scenes. One minute people are getting crushed by weights, the next everyone is acting like nothing happened. Characters come and go, like Dawn of the Dead’s Ken Foree disappearing for a good portion of the movie for no apparent reason. You also have another character played by Chelsea Field, who I thought was going to have an important part, but instead manages to get scalded by hot water, while showering with a bunch of other nude women (have I mentioned there is a shower scene in this movie?) and disappear for the rest of the movie. Of course, if you think any sort of inconsistent plot is going to stop me from enjoying the hell out of this movie, you got another thing coming! I loved Death Spa. I don’t know why (although, it probably has to do with the mix of gore and nudity,) but after the movie was finished, I almost felt like watching it all over again. This is some prime sweaty cheesy folks. Gobble it all down, but be sure to slap on your spandex and work it off, cause 80’s chicks like them ripped and with a mullet, always a mullet.
Death Spa has been out on Blu-ray since May 2014, but I’m just now getting around to watching it. I am happy to report that it is surprisingly a feature-packed Blu-ray release (DVD also included), which seeing how I’m so late to report that, you probably already knew. At first glance you might think the disc isn’t packed with only a Making of, Commentary and Two Trailers listed, but once you find out that the Making of is 50 minutes long, you’ll begin to see why I think it’s packed. The feature is full of interviews with cast and crew, and it’s quite informative to say the least. You also can’t forget that feature length commentary with Director Michael Fischa, Producer Jamie Beardsley and Editor Michael Kewley. Rounding everything out are those two classic vintage trailers.
For being such a low budget cheese fest, Death Spa is looking beautiful on Blu-ray. The video can be a little soft at times, but it’s never distracting. The colours pop, which is a good thing, as this is one movie with a billion different shades of neon.
One the audio side of things you have DTS-HD Master Audio 2.0, which is completely serviceable for the movie. The movie’s loud blaring synth soundtrack by Peter D. Kaye fills your front speakers quite well, and all dialogue is nice and clear.
Play Spot the Boom Mike!
BLU-RAY SPECIAL FEATURES
An Exercise In Terror: The Making Of DEATH SPA
Audio Commentary with Director Michael Fischa, Producer Jamie Beardsley and Editor Michael Kewley
Death Spa is going to fall into my collection of movies that I will love forever. It’s a bad film, with a terribly inconsistent plot, sketchy acting, generous amounts of nudity and a gracious coating of gore. What exactly is there not to love about this movie? Pick up the phenomenally righteous Blu-ray from MPI Media Group today and get ready for a killer workout that will make you sweat blood! It’s up to you if you want to wear lycra or not. However, if this movie is any indication, with its smattering of sweaty bodies, I just don’t think it breathes that well.